Merry Christmas! God Jul! Most of the population is raised Christian so there's none of that Happy Holidays crap. Just good ol' Christmas.

And while not exactly the most jolly Christmas post, I couldn't find a fitting spot on the last post, so here you go. The bus trip across Sweden gave me time to catch up on my Nietzsche. His argument that most friendships are simply means of using people seemed pretty bleak. He makes some obvious examples of someone you befriend in class because they take much better notes than you do. When the class ends the friendship ends as well. OK that's pretty clearly a friendship where people are used. Another example was someone you play sports with: you cannot play without an opponent so you befriend them so you can play a game you enjoy. That's arguable, befriending someone as a means to make you happy seems like a pretty normal thing to. The last example of a friendship of using one another is when people pick friends that are like them or complement/compliment them. The claim is that subconsciously we pick them to make ourselves feel better, and thus the friendship is another means of utility.
Nietzsche suggests that a better friendship is based on mutual enjoyment; that you must actually like the person you play sports with or like your friends. But, aren't people then just befriending one another so they can enjoy each other's company? Seems just as bad as playing sports with someone so you can enjoy the game. The best friendship is one from mutual inspiration, where one befriends people who you see as better than you and seek to emulate their virtues. Again, being friends with someone in order to improve yourself seems similar to the friendship with the person who takes good notes. Nietzsche looks like he wasn't so much describing what does and doesn't make a friend but the difference between friends/acquaintances and your bestest best friend in the whole wide world. Looks like the only way not to end up using someone is to never have friends of any sort, which would be one sucky life. Alternately you could just not say "using each other" and making it sound so base and manipulative, but call it symbiosis. If you get really cynical about it, you can suck the joy out of pretty much everything.
After all, Christmas is nothing but celebrating the birthday of the founder of a intolerant religion with a history of terrible violence and cruelty. But that isn't going to stop me from enjoying it. It's snowing! The first white Christmas I've ever seen, I finally can try out my new parka. Later everyone, spend some quality time with your friends (screw Nietzschean cynicism!) and family. Hejdå!

Back from my first trip, Göteborg was quite fun. The town was not at its most fun since it was so close to Christmas and everyone was going home and shops closed early. Still there were plenty of fun things to do; I went to the Liseberg amusement park where they put Christmas lights on pretty much everything. It was really beautiful. The camera doesn't work too well at night though, so there weren't many good pics.
There's a debate as to whether Stockholm or Göteborg is better, I don't know I only saw a small part of Stockholm, though it was awesome but I saw lots of Göteborg which was pretty cool, but also the slowest time of the year. There's an avenue with nightclubs and restaurants and I swear every place that was open had a bouncer. And since when does Hard Rock Cafe have bouncers? They're a restaurant!
As much as I enjoy traveling with a group of friends, just wandering around and doing things at my own pace and going off on a whim was really fun. I found these little mountains that offered a wonderful view of the whole city, and they were pristine, not what I would imagine one would find in the middle of a city at all.

I gotta say, some of the best parts about Göteborg are the street signs:

"Warning: Do not grab hands reaching out of the ice!" Nothing inherently funny about that sign, but it reminded me of the warnings on high voltage equipment that led one to believe that an evil electrical octopus would be released if you touched the machine.



For the safety of the pedestrians, trams must display the current emotion of the driver. In this case it is advisable to get the hell out of the way.






Beware of ass grabbers!
OR
Sweden is so supportive of same sex parents they have their own designated walkway.








I'm sure it means something like Baby Seal Street in Swedish.








heeheehee. Childish? Yes, but you laughed too.











And lastly, there's a traditional Christmas soda in Sweden called Julmust. Everyone loves it so much, and I like it too. Thing is, it tastes exactly like Dr. Pepper but they hate Dr. Pepper here. Silly Swedes. Now the question is, does diet Julmust taste just like regular Julmust?

OK, I'm going to largely be out of town for the next few weeks exploring Sweden. Here's the game plan: tomorrow I take the bus to Göteborg, the second largest city in Sweden, see what there is to see and come back for Christmas (which is the 24th, cuz the Swedes don't know what day Christmas is supposed to be) and have a Swedish Christmas with the other exchange students at one of the nations. Then I go south to Malmö and Lund. I hope to see the twisting torso building and Günther's nightclub and Lund University, Uppsala's rival. If I get bored I might go to Copenhagen. Then I come back to Uppsala for New Year's. A one day trip to Stockholm after that and on January 3rd I'll fly to Kiruna, way the hell up north in the land Sweden forgot. I'll be up there until the 11th, hopefully I'll see the northern lights. I want to see what 24 hour darkness looks like but supposedly there's still a half hour of sun. Damn. Anyway, if you can't get in touch with me, that's probably why.

And before I go, another weirdness about Sweden: We were planning another movie night and the thing that people were all hung up on was the food. They were reluctant to have a movie night because they didn't want to cook something big. So the suggestion was that they just cook a 1 course dinner and then make a dessert. Incredulous, I suggested we just get a pizza instead of doing all that work. They looked at each other and said, "Hey, that's not a bad idea." The fact that they didn't even consider that baffles me. I suspect the Swedes don't like movie nights as much as Americans.

Finns are odd, here is a colloquial expression for "in the beginning of time": "First there was a swamp, a hoe and Jussi." Don't ask, I don't get it either.

I've been going out nearly every day to see if I can get a good pic of the sunset. Most of them have been utterly boring, the sun just goes below the horizon without any spectacular farewell. Today was different though, this one is worthy of being an Arizona sunset. Still, this is the best Sweden can offer and it's average by Tucson standards.

Incidentally I took this pic at exactly 3PM.

Swedes don't seem to enjoy enforcing or obeying rules, too stuffy for them I guess. The copyright protection warning on DVD's says that the office in charge of such things is in Stockholm, yet file sharing is a way of life here. There's a spot where I park my bike when I go to class that says no bicycle parking allowed yet it is surrounded by parked bikes and the sign post itself is used to secure bikes from theft. Driving with one's bike lights off at night it a ticketable offense, yet I'd say easily 90% of the people ride with no lights on. Refunds at grocery stores are not allowed (perhaps a wise policy considering the blatant abuse of that privilege at Sunflower Market) but I sure enough returned something. Why even bother having the rules if nothing happens when you break them?

Word of the Day: genuflect-To bend the knee or touch one knee to the floor or ground, as in worship. To be servilely respectful or deferential; grovel.

It is unfortunate that Americans are so unbelievably stupid and totally ignorant about everything in the world. I was understandably reluctant to believe this, of course but after spending time outside the US I must arrive at the inevitable conclusion that, without exception, all Americans are morons. I was having a discussion with a Persian about Afghanistan and the topic moved into specific geographic details. My knowledge in this area was limited and he pointed out "Aha so it is true that Americans don't know anything about geography!" Sadly so, I mean this guy comes from a country that borders Afghanistan, he was stationed there in the military and his major is Middle Eastern studies and even he knows more about the geography of Afghanistan than I do! Surely I have a deficient education.
As if that wasn't bad enough, Americans don't even know basic facts about their own country. For example, most Americans don't know this but Arizona is very close to North Carolina and borders Louisiana. Also, the state is completely flat and is completely devoid of all plant life, resembling the Gobi desert. The myth that there are mountains or plentiful cacti is a testament to American ignorance. The 100 mile long state has only two cities, Phoenix and Tucson, which are on the northern and southernmost borders, respectively.
We are even totally oblivious as to how our government is set up, apparently (I did not know this until I was kindly enlightened by a European) the US has a parliamentary system where we elect people to elect the president. Contrast this with the false notion taught in our schools that the legislative and executive branches are elected by the people and independently of one another.
So thank you kind peoples of the world for showing me how truly backwards we really are. I will ride a giant condor back home to my clay hut in Tucson and, through a series of grunts and crude drawings in the sand, enlighten others in the ways of the world.

Maybe this post was over the top, maybe not. I'll let you decide.

Riddle me this: how is it even possible that no Swedish video store carries the original Star Wars trilogy? Not a one. And it wasn't like they were all checked out, they didn't have them in stock. And yet they have the Indiana Jones trilogy and movies I would never expect in Europe, like Eurotrip. Just let that swish around in your head a bit. What video store doesn't carry Star Wars? We ended up borrowing the DVD's from a Star Wars freak at our nation and they said that they haven't carried them in video stores in Sweden since 1995. Some Swede is in dire need of a swift kick in the ass for that one.
So we had a nice Star Wars movie marathon, complete with Swedish subtitles. They were interesting but also a bit of a let down. No backwards Swedish for Yoda, and "you must forget what you have learned" just doesn't sound as mystical as "unlearn." Nörf herder was pretty funny though. Beware the mörk side of Kraften!

OK this post is just random bits I'll forget if I don't post them.

Why girls are more fun at parties than guys-
Girl: "We were just discussing oral sex and would like your opinion..."
vs.
Guy: "You know what America's problem is?"

Why Blogger is great: Remembering I wrote an analytical book review on my blog, I then used that as a starting point on an essay on said book, saving me time and effort. It's like procrastinating in reverse.

Apparently in the Swedish military the Commander in Chief (or the Swedish equivalent) does not have the authority to order enlisted personnel to go anywhere. If they don't want to go to Afghanistan, they don't have to. Now, I suppose if your country hasn't been at war in 200 years you can pull that off, but good lord man! What good is a military if you can't order them around?

Also, in Sweden finals are never final. You can take infinite redo's until you pass. Supposedly law students can take up to a year to pass their final. Methinks the Swedes are too forgiving for their own good.

I have been told by people (girls) that the belief that Swedish women are so easy you can successfully proposition them in clubs is false. I was reluctant to believe it myself at first and I certainly never had the balls to try it, but I found out tonight it is true. The following is a dialog I heard first hand:
*guy whispers something in very Swedish looking girl's ear*
Girl: Of course I'll have sex with you!
(I think my impeccable sense of right and wrong might be getting in the way of me having fun.)

Miranda. A new IM program that is really small since there are no ads built in. But the best part is that it allows you to IM people on AIM, Yahoo, MSN, ICQ and more.

Words of the Day: Defenestration-the act of throwing someone or something out of a window.
hurdy gurdy-a Swedish musical instrument of the 18th century that makes music by rotation of a cylinder studded with pegs. (say it like the Swedish Chef)

I hate what the American education system has done with teaching languages, that is to say NOTHING! I hate the fact that for some reason actually learning language is not mandatory. The classes are required to graduate but there is no actual requirement to learn. Spanish is considered a dirty language so no intellectuals ever actually take the class, which means even in Spanish 4 there are still morons whom you can't ever practice Spanish with. French class is better, or at least every person I know who took French knows it remarkably well. And yet Americans are still rarely fluent in a language besides English. Everyone else in the world speaks more languages than we do.
The Germans obviously have an innate advantage over me when learning Swedish since the two languages are about as close as Spanish and Portuguese. Moreover, I hate that the Swedes are so patronizing to me cuz I can't speak Swedish. When I was at a gasque, they were playing some Jeopardy game and someone told them to speak in English since there was someone who didn't speak Swedish. I was the ONLY person that didn't, so they had to make everything harder for everyone in the room just cuz I was there. They say that's cuz it's rude to speak in a language that someone doesn't understand, I see it as when you're in PE and you step up to bat and everyone in the field moves in. Would it be rude of them not to accommodate for your lesser ability?
They also say it's easy for Swedes to learn English, so why doesn't it work the other way around? Because everything on the TV, radio or computer is in English, it's constantly forced down your throat and you learn it practically in utero. It's not easy, you just have a 10 year head start, which is evidenced by the fact that I am as good at Swedish as a 4 year old. Also, whatever they're teaching us it's not what people actually say. So if I'm expecting "Hello, how are you?" I'll likely get "Sup homie G?" then they'll wonder why I haven't learned anything.

This post brought to you by the panic of not understanding Swedish speech 24 hours before my final.

As I had mentioned previously, there are some striking differences between Swedish and American societies that seem really alien to me. The first one I encountered is the Swedish belief in absolute equality; no one is better than anyone else and no one should get preferential treatment. This is deeply ingrained in their society, for example they have paternity leave (which I am totally for, btw) and the question "How do you feel?" must be answered "I feel good." and not "I am good." The latter implies that you are prideful, that by being good you are better than others. Somewhat silly but the absolute equality idea is still a sweet one. The problem arises when you put this into the educational system. In Swedish high schools there are no (or at least extremely few) advanced classes for students. No GATE, no Honors, no AP. Now most of the people I know back home are veterans of those kind of classes, imagine having to be in the same classes with people who don't know how many sides a triangle has. I don't mean to sound arrogant (which is even worse in Sweden than it is in the US) but for most AP students being in all the same classes as everyone else is almost like being held back a grade. I understand everyone is created equal but it's what happens after creation that sets people apart. Some people are better at math than others, some at writing, languages, history you name it, this is an accepted fact of life in the US. If these people aren't challenged then their potential is squandered. What would the Swedes do? "Easy with those equations there Mr. Einstein, you're making the rest of us look bad." I guess that's also why their high schools aren't very cliquish, everyone is trained to think everyone is equal.

The other difference is in etiquette. When you are invited to a private dinner at someone's house you are expected to compensate the host. Among students it is customary to pay the host the amount of money spent on food and drink divided by the number of people. Among adults the guests commonly bring a gift, it is in fact very rude not to. Now, in the US asking your guests for money is really rude, after all being a good host is about generosity and hospitality. Guests can always bring gifts, but it's not mandatory to do so. These differences collided at Thanksgiving when, after dinner, my co-host wanted to know how much I spent on groceries so I could be adequately compensated. I stopped short of insisting that I didn't want his money, since I wasn't sure what that might imply in Swedish culture. He ended up giving me a relatively small 30kr, but my guests paying me for dinner, especially Thanksgiving, just seemed wrong. Apparently not paying me would have felt equally wrong to the Swedes, sort of like taking advantage of my hospitality. There's a potential for some real cultural misunderstandings there.
To contrast those two with a third culture's etiquette, in Morocco the host is incredibly generous to the guests; catering to their every need with lavish food, drink and entertainment. No gifts or money ever changes hands BUT the guests must later throw an equal or greater party sometime in the future. If they do not then the host, with his generosity, gains favor with Allah and sort of owns a part of his guests' souls in the afterlife.

Amazing how time flies, we're almost at the end of the semester. Good thing I decided to stay for a year, I'm just getting settled in. Only problem now is that now finals are looming and I'm sweating every one of them. I can BS my way through my Cultures and Armed Conflicts written final, but 10 pages of BS is still a challenge, I might have to throw facts in there just to be safe. My Peoples of the Baltic paper is unfortunately BS proof and I have to defend it against the entire class. The worst one of all is my Swedish final; I'm confident enough in my ability to read, write and speak Swedish but listening and answering questions from a recording is downright impossible. It's all Bork Bork Bork! to me. Combine that with the recent falling out I had with a good friend of mine and it's stress by the truckload.
In lighter news, it's started to snow. And I mean really snow (not that a Tucsonan has any concept of 'real' snow) my bike is now covered in several inches of it. It makes everything really pretty and I had my first snowball fight in I don't know how many years. I also went to the adventsfika on Sunday, which was very fun. Swedish pastries and sweets, traditional songs (as well as very American songs through the speakers) and glögg. It's so much better than the stuff back home, no wonder the Swedes like it.
I'm also investigating some odd differences between Swedish and American culture, I'll post my findings sometime soon. Hopefully I'll be in the clear with my studies by then.

So yesterday was Thanksgiving, and what a magical thing it was. My nation cancelled the Thanksgiving dinner and no one, American or otherwise, seemed to really give a damn so I took it upon myself to save it. At first it was going to be me and a Swedish friend of mine cooking the meal together. He had to buy a lot of stuff before he got to my place so the majority of the cooking was done by me alone. Now, cooking is supposed to involve experimentations and testing and all that good stuff, and the dinner turned out great in the end, but I still don't think an ambassadorial Thanksgiving is the best time for a trial by fire. No Americans were there except me and none of them had ever had a Thanksgiving before so I could have gotten away with a lot. None of them had ever seen a turkey and our assistant cook (who shall be known as the Swedish Chef) was making the cranberry sauce but had no idea how cranberries were supposed to taste. Again, it turned out fantastic, as did his pecan pie (which he also had no idea of how it was supposed to taste).
The concept of Thanksgiving seemed a little alien to them. Not surprising, considering that at the gasques they serve food in small quantities over a long period of time (the local solution to this is to eat an entire pizza before going to dinner). The abundance of food, the fact that you cannot eat it all, is what the holiday is all about. I also mentioned the side effect of turkey is sleepiness; they laughed at me and said if they got tired it would simply be from the wine or eating so much. Needless to say, hours later my guests were lethargically collapsed at the table, reminiscent of a Dali painting. This was indisputable proof that it was a good Thanksgiving!

and the best Thanksgiving quote: "Have fun decomposing!"

Swedish has some uncanny similarities to Spanish when you look at the words. All Spanish verbs end with 'ar', 'er' or 'ir'. Most Swedish verbs end with 'ar', 'er' or 'ir' as well, and the ones that don't still follow the vowel-r pattern. The present participle (aka the -ing form) in Spanish is "ando" or "iendo"in Swedish it's "ande" or "ende". Those are the only striking grammatical similarities I can think of at the moment, but I find that if you take some Swedish words "roligaste" for example, without any context, it looks like Spanish.
This makes me wonder if the similarities are analogous or homologous, after all Swedish is Germanic while Spanish is Romantic, but both Germanic and Latin originated from the same Indo-European precursor language. Suppose both civilizations just kept some vestiges of the original language? Or are they just coincidences?

So the other day I'm out at one of the nations dressed to impress. New shirt, new pants, cologne, the works. I'm having a good time, and as I'm standing by the bar about to order a drink I notice a cute girl walk up a few feet to my left. She looks at me, then slides up to my side and whispers in my ear...

"You have chewing gum on your butt."

Sure enough there was a nice bright white piece of gum smashed into my new black pants. I had considered leaving before then, but quickly departed after that, hands behind my back discreetly trying to cover my ass. Considering how long it had been since I sat down it must have been there for a good hour or so. At least she was nice enough to point it out...


Fun Swedish words: arg-angry
sicksackmönster-zigzag pattern

The 40 Year Old Virgin with Steve Carell and Catherine Keener. I really wanted to see this before I left for Sweden but I was unable to. Thankfully, the Swedes don't really care about the "alternative methods" of getting this film. Judging from the trailer there seem to be a lot of deleted scenes, perhaps this is good, perhaps not. I liked this movie quite a bit, I'm surprised the premise hasn't been done a long time ago, but I don't think it could've been done without the genius of Steve Carell. Considering it's an awkward sex comedy it's surprisingly not very crass, they could have made it really bad. Lately I've been analyzing movies on how realistically they portray aspects of American society, mostly because I keep getting asked about it. The main characters seem pretty realistic in that regard, oddly enough a 40 year old virgin doesn't seem that far fetched to me. Not a particularly profound movie but definitely an enjoyable one. Also, one thing about this film that definitely needs to be mentioned: Holy Christ! Kat Dennings is the hottest girl ever!

National anthems of all countries. Pretty cool, ours is the best.

In Sweden, and I gather most of Europe as well, patriotism is seen as a bad thing. They only play their national anthem on the king's birthday or on big holidays and the Swedish flag is hardly seen anywhere. Contrast with the US flag being flown at every public school, in some people's backyards, in front of McDonald's etc. We sing the national anthem at all major sporting events, in high school before assemblies and in the days before 24 hour television it was the 1st thing they played before regular broadcasts. Up until high school we recited the Pledge of Allegiance every day in the morning and in elementary school it was often followed by a random student's selection of "My Country 'Tis of Thee", "America The Beautiful" or "The Star Spangled Banner". This constant demonstration of loyalty seems scary to Europeans and Feifei said it was reminiscent of Red China. We just take it for granted, I mean do you even have to think about the words to the Pledge? I don't even think it's creepy that we have this in common with a communist dictatorship, more like "good for them."

Another funny thing, apparently American commercials are very effective against those who have not been exposed to them before. They said it was like subliminal mind control and they found it difficult to turn the program off. The closest I've ever been to being compelled by a commercial is my strong desire to eat a tender crisp bacon cheddar ranch. Mmmm...

Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams. I had planned on watching this for quite some time now, it's been highly recommended by pretty much everyone that's seen it, but finally decided to watch it now since the Swedes base their knowledge of American high schools on this movie. I have to say it's accurate in many respects; being easily ignored and a good listener I was privy to many instances evil gossip. The seating arrangements at lunch is spot on, only at Sabino the layout was very linear when it came to social castes. The most popular people were in the cafeteria building itself and people became less popular the further south you went from the cafeteria.
Any analysis of this movie is going to require some spoilers, so be warned. Not that teen movies are known for their shocking plot twists, but still...
Anyway, watching the movie I felt numerous parallels to Revenge of the Sith, only this time Darth Vader gets back together with Padme (now there's an image). I was a little bugged by the fact that they kept making a big deal about how no one really likes the Plastics and how it's all in their heads, only to have everyone love Lohan's character at the end. I guess it can't be helped, but still just once I'd like to see a movie like this play out like a Greek tragedy. Or maybe I'd just like to see that happen to the people in real life. Wait 10 years I suppose.
For all their effort towards realism -the movie is based on a guide to high school- how the hell did they make all the popular girls assimilate into other cliques? Maybe that's how things work in Sweden, but not in the US, no way. All that back-stabbing, elitism and superficiality, I almost miss high school, almost. Supposedly the Swedish teen movies are all dark and angsty. I'll have to get around to seeing those, should be one hell of a comparison. One big thing I have to mention, I haven't seen Swedish high schools, so I don't know if they have dress codes or not, but the girls in this movie would've been yanked out of class in a second. Girls in the US do dress like that, just not in school, despite their best efforts.
Overall, I'd say the Swedes are getting a pretty good look at US high school life, minus the obvious movie fluff. I had been asked what prom was really like, the locals assumed that was hyped up for the movies and they weren't really that glamorous. Strangely enough they are, but is that because the movies base them on real proms or do high schools base their proms off movies? Hmmm...

OK, so maybe that's a bit macabre, but I still think it's funny. Well, 20 now. I had a bit of a panic when I realized that I hadn't led a very teenagerly existence when I had the chance, but my 20's are bound to be more exciting anyway. I also am now realizing that I can put more photos on my blog in addition to Flickr.

Mmmm...crapdogs. And is the guy on the right flipping me off?





Hey, at least they're honest about it.















More later.

It occurred to me that even with my extensive coverage of the events in Russia I hadn't covered everything, so here's an addendum. First of all, the ferry ride known as the "Love Boat" is also more frequently known as the "Booze Cruise". There was some, but not much hooking up happening on this trip, probably because it would be difficult for anyone to have sex in their cabins when there are 3 other people in the room. The latter title was far more apt in this instance, there is a fairly large alcohol store onboard which, being in international waters, is duty free. The store was packed with people loading up carts full of beer, wine, liquor, cigarettes, you name it. It's like the footage they had of people emptying shelves in grocery stores around Y2K. You'd think these people would never see alcohol again, I've never seen anything quite like it.

There were metal detectors EVERYWHERE in Moscow, the hotel, the mall, the subway, the circus (btw I went to the circus in Moscow, surprisingly good, all things considered). Say what you will about the hassle of airport security in the US, at least it's just at the airport.
Also, the rumors about the Russian subways being palaces is greatly exaggerated, they might be palatial by subway standards but that about it. I think one stop I saw had a chandelier, but it wasn't a very impressive one.

At Lenin's tomb there was an old man who was yelling at the guards after we were told we couldn't see him. He turned to us and was evidently trying to get support from us, I totally would have agreed with him if I spoke a lick of Russian. Poor guy, he worked his whole life supporting communism and now he can't even see the guy who he dedicated his work to.

Oh, and I briefly saw the Buran shuttle, that was cool.

There is a short film we watched in our Swedish class awhile ago called The Castle Tour which involves a tour guide speaking "English" to Swedish tourists. The stuff he says is complete gibberish but it's supposed to be how Swedes think English sounds like. It was a really weird video, if anyone can find it (Casa Video perhaps?) I recommend watching it.

Supposedly the Swedish Chef is based on an actual Swedish chef from the Dalarna region of Sweden (that's the Dala part of V-Dala, btw). The people there have a very peculiar dialect that sounds nearly unintelligible to the rest of the Swedes. That would definitely explain why his accent doesn't exactly sound like Swedish. Also, that horrifying Dr. Strangelove-esque accent I had mentioned previously is apparently a Stockholm/snobby accent. How anyone could equate that sound with high society is beyond me.

Remote controlled humans. Great....

Finally back from Russia, and what an adventure it was. First night we went exploring around St. Petersburg and saw some amazing buildings and beautiful snow covered streets. I gotta say, Russia is so much more Russian with snow. I met a real fun trio of architecture students along the way: a Scot, who reminded me of the doctor on SG Atlantis, an eccentric Dutchman who loved Goldmember and went around imitating his very non-Dutch accent the entire trip, and a rather silent yet giggly Austro-Hungarian. I ended up hanging out with them most of the trip because they were more interested in seeing Russian cities rather than drinking 2 dollar bottles of vodka. This proved to be a safer plan since, the same night that we went out sightseeing, another group tried to find a club and ended up in a shady part of town and found a dead body in the street. As unsettling as that is, I'm almost sorry I missed it.

Second day we went to the Hermitage museum, it's the biggest museum I have ever been in by far, there's just so much of everything that even with 5 hours of nonstop exploration I doubt I even scratched the surface of their collection. It was a *damn* impressive museum. After that, we went to a traditional Russian folk dance thing. Very entertaining, and pretty much what you would expect, dancewise, from Russia. They played really rural intruments though; spoons, saws, squeeze boxes and such. I guess they wanted to emphasize the rich culture of the working class or something.

The Czars were really concerned with making their country look Western, so there are a lot of Italian designed buildings that, while associated with Russia, seem out of place. I shouldn't complain though, I love the style far more than some of the works the Russians made. Most of the churches and stuff that we went to were Russian Orthodox and while everyone else is enjoying it, I'm really unimpressed. I find Russain Orthodox religious art to be my least favorite style. They all look totally identical, and the people look all wrong. Baby Jesus shouldn't look like Jack Nicholson. One of the things that the architecture students noticed was that St. Petersburg is really flat and wide. The Czars forbade any buildings to be higher than their palace, they didn't build it very high to start with so the city center doesn't have much of a skyline. Coupled with the fact that the Neva river is incredibly wide, it makes it look like someone stretched out a photo of a normal city.

An observation I had on the tour was that the Russians seem to have taken the opposite mentality to design to the Moors. The Alhambra in Spain from the outside looks like nothing more than a fortress, not particularally flashy compared to a proper palace. But on the inside it's a lush garden with fountains and fantastic artwork. The Moors designed it to look drab so no one would really care to see what was inside. The Russians make beautiful buildings that entice you to see the inside but they won't let you. On several occasions, the guide would say, "And on your left is a fantastic church with a breathtaking collection of icons and the tomb of one of Russia's most famous Czars, but you are not allowed to see it." Why take people on tours of buildings they aren't allowed to see?

Moscow was one of the cities I had on a list of places I had to see in my lifetime. There's a certain magical appeal that Russian cities have, probably because of the lavish and exotic nature of their public works. I became slightly less entraced with Moscow after seeing it, though. This might be because we were only in Moscow for 2 days and didn't have nearly enough time to do all the things I wanted. Namely, see Lenin's tomb. I could either tour the Kremlin or stand in line for an indefinite amount of time to see the mausoleum. I chose the Kremlin, which was rather unimpressive I must say. The guide said that if we wanted to we could go stand in line to see Lenin but she said the line would still be very long, so we stayed with the tour and afterwards we went to try to get in line at the last minute. They wouldn't let us in, which made me mad, but what really pissed me off is that they let the group in front of us go in. So had the old crone not told us that it would be a waste of time I would have been able to see Lenin in all his embalmed glory. The line was especially long that day because it was some Russian holiday and so they let children cut in front of the line. Bastards. They live in Russia! They can see Lenin any time they want, they should let foreigners go first. From each according to his ability to each according to his need, man! Lenin would have wanted it that way!

Returning to why I didn't enjoy Moscow as much as I had hoped, I ended up getting seperated from my group the first night. After waiting for half an hour to be found again I decided to continue on my way. I got lost and wandered around for 2 hours that night, and there's nothing quite like being totally lost and confused in a foreign country. No one speaks English, if they do, they won't try to help you and everything is written in Cyrillic.
Finally after backtracking a hell of a long way and negociating the treacherous streets of Russia (Russians are the worst drivers ever, they actually will try to run you down if you're in the road) I made it back to the hotel. This hotel is one of the "Seven Sisters" of Moscow. Stalin wanted Moscow's skyline to be equally impressive as major American cities so he ordered the construction of these massive buildings. But, in typical commie fashion, rather than design seperate and unique skyscrapers, they designed one and build 7 of them. Makes the biggest buildings in the city utterly useless as landmarks. Their grandiose stature, midcentury design and intent to mimic American buildings make the city look like 1940's New York.
We went to a club after my adventure on the streets of Russia, I had wanted to go to one that was supposed to have, trip hop, acid jazz and that kind of stuff, figuring that if those are crazy in the US they must be unreal in Russia. Unfortunately nobody wanted to go with me so I wound up going to the place where they wanted to go, a place that was described as having "a decadent erotic program." They (and I) assumed that by decadent they meant 'providing unrestrained gratification; self-indulgent' when the guide apparantly meant 'being in a state of decline or decay.'

So that was Moscow, quite underwhelming. I did take a my favorite pic of the entire trip in Moscow though:
I only hope it doesn't come back to haunt me...

We went back to St Petersburg after that and with the architecture trio saw some authentic Russian buildings, i.e. run down pieces of crap that all look exactly the same. The Soviets spent all their money on toys and forgot that you actually need to have a stable infrastructure to be a superpower.

The last city we visited was Helsinki, which has officially redeemed itself. It might not be Stockholm, but it's better than the dull city I originally thought it was. We went to this chocolate store with the most amazing chocolate cake EVER. A work of art, I swear. I also went to a Japanese pop art museum exhibit which was really quite interesting. One of the artists is critical of the monotype Japanese art with the big eyes and mouths, so he makes these paintings that are nothing but eyes and mouths.


Oh, one more awesome thing about Russia: I bought Black and White II, Age of Empires III and Civilization IV for about $10 total. That would run me about $150 back home. Now I won't be able to play those games on my laptop without vaporizing my graphics card, but hey, I can wait till I get back to the US.

So in 1 hour I'll be on my way to Russia. First we'll go on the infamous ferry from Stockholm to Helsinki. Cheap beer and international waters have given it the title "The Love Boat". If only I had been on that one a few years ago....
Anyway we're going to Helsinki briefly (maybe it can redeem itself) then off to St. Petersburg. It should be interesting to see how/if it's changed any. Then we'll go off to MOSCOW!

Ah, daylight saving time, my arch nemesis. The more I think about it, the less it makes sense. OK, I'll buy the reason for it in the US but there's no need for it here. Europe uses a 24 hour clock, so why bother with it? And secondly, when you're this far north the daylight you have isn't worth saving. The world needs to take a lesson from Arizona; it's the 21st century, daylight savings is a thing of the past.

In Europe everyone wears really tight fitting clothes. This is why Europeans seem gay to Americans. My pants are baggy by their standards, they don't know them meaning of the term. If I can't hide a 2 liter bottle of soda in my pants without someone noticing (true story), my pants are not baggy. So maybe tight fitting jeans look better, but they're much less comfortable than American jeans. The air gap between the fabric and my skin makes my legs warmer than with the European pants. Funny, you'd think staying warm would be something the Swedes would appreciate.

My mom had warned me that part of the bicultural experience is a period of disenchantment with the country you're in that happens a month or so into your stay. If you don't get that feeling, then you haven't been fully immersed in the culture. I've been keeping that in the back of my mind since I got here and have been wondering when it would set in, and actually worried that it hasn't yet. Which is just weird being upset that I don't hate Sweden yet. Well, that disenchantment set in just the other day. Sweden is culturally homogeneous. You don't notice it at first since they are all different from you or any American subculture you are familiar with, but once you get past that you realize that the Swedes' love of consensus runs down to the bone. I'll spare you the tirade I had the other day and hope that since I've finally encountered the problem maybe I can adapt and move on, rather than staying mopey for a month, as I was told would happen...

Lately I've been thinking about how much time I've been spending with all the people from V-Dala and how big a part the nation plays in my social life now. I find myself wondering what would have happened if I had joined another nation instead? Would I have met the people I am friends with now? Would the other people I would have met been better or worse than my current friends? My entire social life has been a direct result of my choices. Which made me realize something even more amazing: almost my entire life has been a product of things beyond my control. I wasn't able to choose where I lived, or what schools I went to. I had relatively little control over what classes I would be in, and as a result who I would meet or be friends with. At best my free will was a choice between choosing one predetermined route or another.
The start of college was only slightly better, the nature of being a Theatre Arts major meant that I was still basically following a preset path. It's like Fate, only being consciously aware of it.
It was only when I changed my major that I really felt like I had a say in my own life. Then I chose to go to Uppsala, chose a nation, chose a dojo (or whatever the capoeira equivalent is). I can make life altering decisions now, I mean actually make them, not just pick between doing something or not.
There's supposed to be something scary about the realization that the choices you make are what make your life and not some predetermined course set by Fate. But as I look at it, going to Sweden has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I find that the destiny I'm making for myself is considerably better than anything Fate ever gave me.

I was at a nation the other night and these two girls walk into the room and are talking to each other in Swedish. One has a normal voice but the other had the most horrific Swedish accent ever. It was like a cross between Dr. Strangelove and the Swedish Chef. All Swedes talk like they're holding a cough drop in the middle of their tongue, but to varying degrees. A Swedish accent can actually be quite soothing, but this was just ridiculous. No matter how drop dead gorgeous a girl might be I could never get with her with a voice like that: Oh Kefeen yuoo meke-a me-a su hut!
Thankfully she looked like Paris Hilton, so no love lost there.

btw, that bit of Swedish is brought to you by the Swedish translator. I find it's especially fun when you put in actual Swedish into it.

On another note, why is it that whenever I leave the country bad things start happening back home? Floods, forest fires, hurricanes, you name it, whenever I go to Europe some catastrophe happens. Can't you people keep it together without me?

Word of the day: trisexual-pertaining to having sex with males, females, and one's self.
Strange that a bi who masturbates then becomes an entirely different classification.