As I had mentioned previously, there are some striking differences between Swedish and American societies that seem really alien to me. The first one I encountered is the Swedish belief in absolute equality; no one is better than anyone else and no one should get preferential treatment. This is deeply ingrained in their society, for example they have paternity leave (which I am totally for, btw) and the question "How do you feel?" must be answered "I feel good." and not "I am good." The latter implies that you are prideful, that by being good you are better than others. Somewhat silly but the absolute equality idea is still a sweet one. The problem arises when you put this into the educational system. In Swedish high schools there are no (or at least extremely few) advanced classes for students. No GATE, no Honors, no AP. Now most of the people I know back home are veterans of those kind of classes, imagine having to be in the same classes with people who don't know how many sides a triangle has. I don't mean to sound arrogant (which is even worse in Sweden than it is in the US) but for most AP students being in all the same classes as everyone else is almost like being held back a grade. I understand everyone is created equal but it's what happens after creation that sets people apart. Some people are better at math than others, some at writing, languages, history you name it, this is an accepted fact of life in the US. If these people aren't challenged then their potential is squandered. What would the Swedes do? "Easy with those equations there Mr. Einstein, you're making the rest of us look bad." I guess that's also why their high schools aren't very cliquish, everyone is trained to think everyone is equal.

The other difference is in etiquette. When you are invited to a private dinner at someone's house you are expected to compensate the host. Among students it is customary to pay the host the amount of money spent on food and drink divided by the number of people. Among adults the guests commonly bring a gift, it is in fact very rude not to. Now, in the US asking your guests for money is really rude, after all being a good host is about generosity and hospitality. Guests can always bring gifts, but it's not mandatory to do so. These differences collided at Thanksgiving when, after dinner, my co-host wanted to know how much I spent on groceries so I could be adequately compensated. I stopped short of insisting that I didn't want his money, since I wasn't sure what that might imply in Swedish culture. He ended up giving me a relatively small 30kr, but my guests paying me for dinner, especially Thanksgiving, just seemed wrong. Apparently not paying me would have felt equally wrong to the Swedes, sort of like taking advantage of my hospitality. There's a potential for some real cultural misunderstandings there.
To contrast those two with a third culture's etiquette, in Morocco the host is incredibly generous to the guests; catering to their every need with lavish food, drink and entertainment. No gifts or money ever changes hands BUT the guests must later throw an equal or greater party sometime in the future. If they do not then the host, with his generosity, gains favor with Allah and sort of owns a part of his guests' souls in the afterlife.

Amazing how time flies, we're almost at the end of the semester. Good thing I decided to stay for a year, I'm just getting settled in. Only problem now is that now finals are looming and I'm sweating every one of them. I can BS my way through my Cultures and Armed Conflicts written final, but 10 pages of BS is still a challenge, I might have to throw facts in there just to be safe. My Peoples of the Baltic paper is unfortunately BS proof and I have to defend it against the entire class. The worst one of all is my Swedish final; I'm confident enough in my ability to read, write and speak Swedish but listening and answering questions from a recording is downright impossible. It's all Bork Bork Bork! to me. Combine that with the recent falling out I had with a good friend of mine and it's stress by the truckload.
In lighter news, it's started to snow. And I mean really snow (not that a Tucsonan has any concept of 'real' snow) my bike is now covered in several inches of it. It makes everything really pretty and I had my first snowball fight in I don't know how many years. I also went to the adventsfika on Sunday, which was very fun. Swedish pastries and sweets, traditional songs (as well as very American songs through the speakers) and glögg. It's so much better than the stuff back home, no wonder the Swedes like it.
I'm also investigating some odd differences between Swedish and American culture, I'll post my findings sometime soon. Hopefully I'll be in the clear with my studies by then.

So yesterday was Thanksgiving, and what a magical thing it was. My nation cancelled the Thanksgiving dinner and no one, American or otherwise, seemed to really give a damn so I took it upon myself to save it. At first it was going to be me and a Swedish friend of mine cooking the meal together. He had to buy a lot of stuff before he got to my place so the majority of the cooking was done by me alone. Now, cooking is supposed to involve experimentations and testing and all that good stuff, and the dinner turned out great in the end, but I still don't think an ambassadorial Thanksgiving is the best time for a trial by fire. No Americans were there except me and none of them had ever had a Thanksgiving before so I could have gotten away with a lot. None of them had ever seen a turkey and our assistant cook (who shall be known as the Swedish Chef) was making the cranberry sauce but had no idea how cranberries were supposed to taste. Again, it turned out fantastic, as did his pecan pie (which he also had no idea of how it was supposed to taste).
The concept of Thanksgiving seemed a little alien to them. Not surprising, considering that at the gasques they serve food in small quantities over a long period of time (the local solution to this is to eat an entire pizza before going to dinner). The abundance of food, the fact that you cannot eat it all, is what the holiday is all about. I also mentioned the side effect of turkey is sleepiness; they laughed at me and said if they got tired it would simply be from the wine or eating so much. Needless to say, hours later my guests were lethargically collapsed at the table, reminiscent of a Dali painting. This was indisputable proof that it was a good Thanksgiving!

and the best Thanksgiving quote: "Have fun decomposing!"

Swedish has some uncanny similarities to Spanish when you look at the words. All Spanish verbs end with 'ar', 'er' or 'ir'. Most Swedish verbs end with 'ar', 'er' or 'ir' as well, and the ones that don't still follow the vowel-r pattern. The present participle (aka the -ing form) in Spanish is "ando" or "iendo"in Swedish it's "ande" or "ende". Those are the only striking grammatical similarities I can think of at the moment, but I find that if you take some Swedish words "roligaste" for example, without any context, it looks like Spanish.
This makes me wonder if the similarities are analogous or homologous, after all Swedish is Germanic while Spanish is Romantic, but both Germanic and Latin originated from the same Indo-European precursor language. Suppose both civilizations just kept some vestiges of the original language? Or are they just coincidences?

So the other day I'm out at one of the nations dressed to impress. New shirt, new pants, cologne, the works. I'm having a good time, and as I'm standing by the bar about to order a drink I notice a cute girl walk up a few feet to my left. She looks at me, then slides up to my side and whispers in my ear...

"You have chewing gum on your butt."

Sure enough there was a nice bright white piece of gum smashed into my new black pants. I had considered leaving before then, but quickly departed after that, hands behind my back discreetly trying to cover my ass. Considering how long it had been since I sat down it must have been there for a good hour or so. At least she was nice enough to point it out...


Fun Swedish words: arg-angry
sicksackmönster-zigzag pattern

The 40 Year Old Virgin with Steve Carell and Catherine Keener. I really wanted to see this before I left for Sweden but I was unable to. Thankfully, the Swedes don't really care about the "alternative methods" of getting this film. Judging from the trailer there seem to be a lot of deleted scenes, perhaps this is good, perhaps not. I liked this movie quite a bit, I'm surprised the premise hasn't been done a long time ago, but I don't think it could've been done without the genius of Steve Carell. Considering it's an awkward sex comedy it's surprisingly not very crass, they could have made it really bad. Lately I've been analyzing movies on how realistically they portray aspects of American society, mostly because I keep getting asked about it. The main characters seem pretty realistic in that regard, oddly enough a 40 year old virgin doesn't seem that far fetched to me. Not a particularly profound movie but definitely an enjoyable one. Also, one thing about this film that definitely needs to be mentioned: Holy Christ! Kat Dennings is the hottest girl ever!

National anthems of all countries. Pretty cool, ours is the best.

In Sweden, and I gather most of Europe as well, patriotism is seen as a bad thing. They only play their national anthem on the king's birthday or on big holidays and the Swedish flag is hardly seen anywhere. Contrast with the US flag being flown at every public school, in some people's backyards, in front of McDonald's etc. We sing the national anthem at all major sporting events, in high school before assemblies and in the days before 24 hour television it was the 1st thing they played before regular broadcasts. Up until high school we recited the Pledge of Allegiance every day in the morning and in elementary school it was often followed by a random student's selection of "My Country 'Tis of Thee", "America The Beautiful" or "The Star Spangled Banner". This constant demonstration of loyalty seems scary to Europeans and Feifei said it was reminiscent of Red China. We just take it for granted, I mean do you even have to think about the words to the Pledge? I don't even think it's creepy that we have this in common with a communist dictatorship, more like "good for them."

Another funny thing, apparently American commercials are very effective against those who have not been exposed to them before. They said it was like subliminal mind control and they found it difficult to turn the program off. The closest I've ever been to being compelled by a commercial is my strong desire to eat a tender crisp bacon cheddar ranch. Mmmm...

Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams. I had planned on watching this for quite some time now, it's been highly recommended by pretty much everyone that's seen it, but finally decided to watch it now since the Swedes base their knowledge of American high schools on this movie. I have to say it's accurate in many respects; being easily ignored and a good listener I was privy to many instances evil gossip. The seating arrangements at lunch is spot on, only at Sabino the layout was very linear when it came to social castes. The most popular people were in the cafeteria building itself and people became less popular the further south you went from the cafeteria.
Any analysis of this movie is going to require some spoilers, so be warned. Not that teen movies are known for their shocking plot twists, but still...
Anyway, watching the movie I felt numerous parallels to Revenge of the Sith, only this time Darth Vader gets back together with Padme (now there's an image). I was a little bugged by the fact that they kept making a big deal about how no one really likes the Plastics and how it's all in their heads, only to have everyone love Lohan's character at the end. I guess it can't be helped, but still just once I'd like to see a movie like this play out like a Greek tragedy. Or maybe I'd just like to see that happen to the people in real life. Wait 10 years I suppose.
For all their effort towards realism -the movie is based on a guide to high school- how the hell did they make all the popular girls assimilate into other cliques? Maybe that's how things work in Sweden, but not in the US, no way. All that back-stabbing, elitism and superficiality, I almost miss high school, almost. Supposedly the Swedish teen movies are all dark and angsty. I'll have to get around to seeing those, should be one hell of a comparison. One big thing I have to mention, I haven't seen Swedish high schools, so I don't know if they have dress codes or not, but the girls in this movie would've been yanked out of class in a second. Girls in the US do dress like that, just not in school, despite their best efforts.
Overall, I'd say the Swedes are getting a pretty good look at US high school life, minus the obvious movie fluff. I had been asked what prom was really like, the locals assumed that was hyped up for the movies and they weren't really that glamorous. Strangely enough they are, but is that because the movies base them on real proms or do high schools base their proms off movies? Hmmm...

OK, so maybe that's a bit macabre, but I still think it's funny. Well, 20 now. I had a bit of a panic when I realized that I hadn't led a very teenagerly existence when I had the chance, but my 20's are bound to be more exciting anyway. I also am now realizing that I can put more photos on my blog in addition to Flickr.

Mmmm...crapdogs. And is the guy on the right flipping me off?





Hey, at least they're honest about it.















More later.

It occurred to me that even with my extensive coverage of the events in Russia I hadn't covered everything, so here's an addendum. First of all, the ferry ride known as the "Love Boat" is also more frequently known as the "Booze Cruise". There was some, but not much hooking up happening on this trip, probably because it would be difficult for anyone to have sex in their cabins when there are 3 other people in the room. The latter title was far more apt in this instance, there is a fairly large alcohol store onboard which, being in international waters, is duty free. The store was packed with people loading up carts full of beer, wine, liquor, cigarettes, you name it. It's like the footage they had of people emptying shelves in grocery stores around Y2K. You'd think these people would never see alcohol again, I've never seen anything quite like it.

There were metal detectors EVERYWHERE in Moscow, the hotel, the mall, the subway, the circus (btw I went to the circus in Moscow, surprisingly good, all things considered). Say what you will about the hassle of airport security in the US, at least it's just at the airport.
Also, the rumors about the Russian subways being palaces is greatly exaggerated, they might be palatial by subway standards but that about it. I think one stop I saw had a chandelier, but it wasn't a very impressive one.

At Lenin's tomb there was an old man who was yelling at the guards after we were told we couldn't see him. He turned to us and was evidently trying to get support from us, I totally would have agreed with him if I spoke a lick of Russian. Poor guy, he worked his whole life supporting communism and now he can't even see the guy who he dedicated his work to.

Oh, and I briefly saw the Buran shuttle, that was cool.

There is a short film we watched in our Swedish class awhile ago called The Castle Tour which involves a tour guide speaking "English" to Swedish tourists. The stuff he says is complete gibberish but it's supposed to be how Swedes think English sounds like. It was a really weird video, if anyone can find it (Casa Video perhaps?) I recommend watching it.

Supposedly the Swedish Chef is based on an actual Swedish chef from the Dalarna region of Sweden (that's the Dala part of V-Dala, btw). The people there have a very peculiar dialect that sounds nearly unintelligible to the rest of the Swedes. That would definitely explain why his accent doesn't exactly sound like Swedish. Also, that horrifying Dr. Strangelove-esque accent I had mentioned previously is apparently a Stockholm/snobby accent. How anyone could equate that sound with high society is beyond me.

Remote controlled humans. Great....

Finally back from Russia, and what an adventure it was. First night we went exploring around St. Petersburg and saw some amazing buildings and beautiful snow covered streets. I gotta say, Russia is so much more Russian with snow. I met a real fun trio of architecture students along the way: a Scot, who reminded me of the doctor on SG Atlantis, an eccentric Dutchman who loved Goldmember and went around imitating his very non-Dutch accent the entire trip, and a rather silent yet giggly Austro-Hungarian. I ended up hanging out with them most of the trip because they were more interested in seeing Russian cities rather than drinking 2 dollar bottles of vodka. This proved to be a safer plan since, the same night that we went out sightseeing, another group tried to find a club and ended up in a shady part of town and found a dead body in the street. As unsettling as that is, I'm almost sorry I missed it.

Second day we went to the Hermitage museum, it's the biggest museum I have ever been in by far, there's just so much of everything that even with 5 hours of nonstop exploration I doubt I even scratched the surface of their collection. It was a *damn* impressive museum. After that, we went to a traditional Russian folk dance thing. Very entertaining, and pretty much what you would expect, dancewise, from Russia. They played really rural intruments though; spoons, saws, squeeze boxes and such. I guess they wanted to emphasize the rich culture of the working class or something.

The Czars were really concerned with making their country look Western, so there are a lot of Italian designed buildings that, while associated with Russia, seem out of place. I shouldn't complain though, I love the style far more than some of the works the Russians made. Most of the churches and stuff that we went to were Russian Orthodox and while everyone else is enjoying it, I'm really unimpressed. I find Russain Orthodox religious art to be my least favorite style. They all look totally identical, and the people look all wrong. Baby Jesus shouldn't look like Jack Nicholson. One of the things that the architecture students noticed was that St. Petersburg is really flat and wide. The Czars forbade any buildings to be higher than their palace, they didn't build it very high to start with so the city center doesn't have much of a skyline. Coupled with the fact that the Neva river is incredibly wide, it makes it look like someone stretched out a photo of a normal city.

An observation I had on the tour was that the Russians seem to have taken the opposite mentality to design to the Moors. The Alhambra in Spain from the outside looks like nothing more than a fortress, not particularally flashy compared to a proper palace. But on the inside it's a lush garden with fountains and fantastic artwork. The Moors designed it to look drab so no one would really care to see what was inside. The Russians make beautiful buildings that entice you to see the inside but they won't let you. On several occasions, the guide would say, "And on your left is a fantastic church with a breathtaking collection of icons and the tomb of one of Russia's most famous Czars, but you are not allowed to see it." Why take people on tours of buildings they aren't allowed to see?

Moscow was one of the cities I had on a list of places I had to see in my lifetime. There's a certain magical appeal that Russian cities have, probably because of the lavish and exotic nature of their public works. I became slightly less entraced with Moscow after seeing it, though. This might be because we were only in Moscow for 2 days and didn't have nearly enough time to do all the things I wanted. Namely, see Lenin's tomb. I could either tour the Kremlin or stand in line for an indefinite amount of time to see the mausoleum. I chose the Kremlin, which was rather unimpressive I must say. The guide said that if we wanted to we could go stand in line to see Lenin but she said the line would still be very long, so we stayed with the tour and afterwards we went to try to get in line at the last minute. They wouldn't let us in, which made me mad, but what really pissed me off is that they let the group in front of us go in. So had the old crone not told us that it would be a waste of time I would have been able to see Lenin in all his embalmed glory. The line was especially long that day because it was some Russian holiday and so they let children cut in front of the line. Bastards. They live in Russia! They can see Lenin any time they want, they should let foreigners go first. From each according to his ability to each according to his need, man! Lenin would have wanted it that way!

Returning to why I didn't enjoy Moscow as much as I had hoped, I ended up getting seperated from my group the first night. After waiting for half an hour to be found again I decided to continue on my way. I got lost and wandered around for 2 hours that night, and there's nothing quite like being totally lost and confused in a foreign country. No one speaks English, if they do, they won't try to help you and everything is written in Cyrillic.
Finally after backtracking a hell of a long way and negociating the treacherous streets of Russia (Russians are the worst drivers ever, they actually will try to run you down if you're in the road) I made it back to the hotel. This hotel is one of the "Seven Sisters" of Moscow. Stalin wanted Moscow's skyline to be equally impressive as major American cities so he ordered the construction of these massive buildings. But, in typical commie fashion, rather than design seperate and unique skyscrapers, they designed one and build 7 of them. Makes the biggest buildings in the city utterly useless as landmarks. Their grandiose stature, midcentury design and intent to mimic American buildings make the city look like 1940's New York.
We went to a club after my adventure on the streets of Russia, I had wanted to go to one that was supposed to have, trip hop, acid jazz and that kind of stuff, figuring that if those are crazy in the US they must be unreal in Russia. Unfortunately nobody wanted to go with me so I wound up going to the place where they wanted to go, a place that was described as having "a decadent erotic program." They (and I) assumed that by decadent they meant 'providing unrestrained gratification; self-indulgent' when the guide apparantly meant 'being in a state of decline or decay.'

So that was Moscow, quite underwhelming. I did take a my favorite pic of the entire trip in Moscow though:
I only hope it doesn't come back to haunt me...

We went back to St Petersburg after that and with the architecture trio saw some authentic Russian buildings, i.e. run down pieces of crap that all look exactly the same. The Soviets spent all their money on toys and forgot that you actually need to have a stable infrastructure to be a superpower.

The last city we visited was Helsinki, which has officially redeemed itself. It might not be Stockholm, but it's better than the dull city I originally thought it was. We went to this chocolate store with the most amazing chocolate cake EVER. A work of art, I swear. I also went to a Japanese pop art museum exhibit which was really quite interesting. One of the artists is critical of the monotype Japanese art with the big eyes and mouths, so he makes these paintings that are nothing but eyes and mouths.


Oh, one more awesome thing about Russia: I bought Black and White II, Age of Empires III and Civilization IV for about $10 total. That would run me about $150 back home. Now I won't be able to play those games on my laptop without vaporizing my graphics card, but hey, I can wait till I get back to the US.

So in 1 hour I'll be on my way to Russia. First we'll go on the infamous ferry from Stockholm to Helsinki. Cheap beer and international waters have given it the title "The Love Boat". If only I had been on that one a few years ago....
Anyway we're going to Helsinki briefly (maybe it can redeem itself) then off to St. Petersburg. It should be interesting to see how/if it's changed any. Then we'll go off to MOSCOW!

Ah, daylight saving time, my arch nemesis. The more I think about it, the less it makes sense. OK, I'll buy the reason for it in the US but there's no need for it here. Europe uses a 24 hour clock, so why bother with it? And secondly, when you're this far north the daylight you have isn't worth saving. The world needs to take a lesson from Arizona; it's the 21st century, daylight savings is a thing of the past.

In Europe everyone wears really tight fitting clothes. This is why Europeans seem gay to Americans. My pants are baggy by their standards, they don't know them meaning of the term. If I can't hide a 2 liter bottle of soda in my pants without someone noticing (true story), my pants are not baggy. So maybe tight fitting jeans look better, but they're much less comfortable than American jeans. The air gap between the fabric and my skin makes my legs warmer than with the European pants. Funny, you'd think staying warm would be something the Swedes would appreciate.

My mom had warned me that part of the bicultural experience is a period of disenchantment with the country you're in that happens a month or so into your stay. If you don't get that feeling, then you haven't been fully immersed in the culture. I've been keeping that in the back of my mind since I got here and have been wondering when it would set in, and actually worried that it hasn't yet. Which is just weird being upset that I don't hate Sweden yet. Well, that disenchantment set in just the other day. Sweden is culturally homogeneous. You don't notice it at first since they are all different from you or any American subculture you are familiar with, but once you get past that you realize that the Swedes' love of consensus runs down to the bone. I'll spare you the tirade I had the other day and hope that since I've finally encountered the problem maybe I can adapt and move on, rather than staying mopey for a month, as I was told would happen...

Lately I've been thinking about how much time I've been spending with all the people from V-Dala and how big a part the nation plays in my social life now. I find myself wondering what would have happened if I had joined another nation instead? Would I have met the people I am friends with now? Would the other people I would have met been better or worse than my current friends? My entire social life has been a direct result of my choices. Which made me realize something even more amazing: almost my entire life has been a product of things beyond my control. I wasn't able to choose where I lived, or what schools I went to. I had relatively little control over what classes I would be in, and as a result who I would meet or be friends with. At best my free will was a choice between choosing one predetermined route or another.
The start of college was only slightly better, the nature of being a Theatre Arts major meant that I was still basically following a preset path. It's like Fate, only being consciously aware of it.
It was only when I changed my major that I really felt like I had a say in my own life. Then I chose to go to Uppsala, chose a nation, chose a dojo (or whatever the capoeira equivalent is). I can make life altering decisions now, I mean actually make them, not just pick between doing something or not.
There's supposed to be something scary about the realization that the choices you make are what make your life and not some predetermined course set by Fate. But as I look at it, going to Sweden has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I find that the destiny I'm making for myself is considerably better than anything Fate ever gave me.

I was at a nation the other night and these two girls walk into the room and are talking to each other in Swedish. One has a normal voice but the other had the most horrific Swedish accent ever. It was like a cross between Dr. Strangelove and the Swedish Chef. All Swedes talk like they're holding a cough drop in the middle of their tongue, but to varying degrees. A Swedish accent can actually be quite soothing, but this was just ridiculous. No matter how drop dead gorgeous a girl might be I could never get with her with a voice like that: Oh Kefeen yuoo meke-a me-a su hut!
Thankfully she looked like Paris Hilton, so no love lost there.

btw, that bit of Swedish is brought to you by the Swedish translator. I find it's especially fun when you put in actual Swedish into it.

On another note, why is it that whenever I leave the country bad things start happening back home? Floods, forest fires, hurricanes, you name it, whenever I go to Europe some catastrophe happens. Can't you people keep it together without me?

Word of the day: trisexual-pertaining to having sex with males, females, and one's self.
Strange that a bi who masturbates then becomes an entirely different classification.

I've started doing capoeira here in Uppsala. It's one of those "I'll try that one day" kind of things, where I had frequently planned on trying it back home but never got around to doing it. Since this whole study abroad thing is the embodiment of doing the things I've always wanted to do, it seemed appropriate. Plus, since it's a non-Asian martial art I get a whole new outlook on it. Which is good because one of the problems I had with my attempt at aikido here was that they did things in a way that it was just different enough to bother me. I doubt I could get very far in my training when I'm silently disagreeing with how aikido "should be". I'm too used to Ko Sho aikido to ever get used to the G-rated stuff they have here.
Capoeira is such a total departure from aikido. The basic philosophies are the most obvious example; aikido is very efficient, you use as little of your own energy as possible, relying on the opponent's energy to power your techniques. Strikes are secondary, joint locks and throws are the primary means of attack. And (ideally) your movements are small, not big sweeping circles. Capoeira relies on your own strength and movement to power your attacks, kicks are the main weapon. You use sweeping motions, feints and ruses to keep the opponent from getting too close.
I find that my years of aikido have created an instinctive stance and movement that is difficult to override, which is bad since these instincts are now antithetical to capoeira. Aikido footwork moves at 45 degree angles, capoeira moves at 90 degree angles. Aikido teaches you to keep both hands in front of you to protect yourself, capoeira has one hand in front of you and one hand out to the side ready to strike. The most difficult difference to overcome is the direction of the foot when the leg is stretched out to the side. In aikido/jujitsu, you have your foot in a sprinting position, but capoeira has the foot flat on the ground. That's something we were explicitly told not to do for various reasons, namely if someone falls on you leg, you knee bends instead of breaks.
I do have to give capoeira props for their unique take on solving the "missing leg" problem. Since we're bipedal we have 2 missing legs, and are not nearly as stable as something quadrupedal. Solution: stay low enough to the ground to be able to catch yourself with your hands if you lose balance and create a stable base when you're attacking. That way you can kick and still have 3 "legs" on the ground instead of one.
And by the end of it I'll finally be able to do cartwheels and walk on my hands.

At the meeting for the Roadtrip to Russia they handed out an extra form to all the American men, and only the American men. The form asked some pretty spooky questions, such as: "Do you have any skills or training including firearms, explosives or nuclear, biological or chemical experience?" and "Have you been in an armed conflict, either as a participant or a victim?" Now, if I say yes to the first one, do they not let me into Russia or do they instantly accept me then kidnap me and lock me in a mountain fortress?
And why aren't Australian nuclear scientists even worth considering? Or female American demolitions experts?
Another reassuring tidbit was, "Every now and then, the Russian police, militia, military, special police or frontier police (armed police) make surprise checks of our buses." Great...

One of the feminist essays we were assigned to read made me wonder if feminists realize how crazy they can sound at times. The essay dealt with sexual imagery being used in the military. I don't mean the Marine Corps, that's a no-brainer, she was insistent that the defense analysts, nuclear strategists and the like were using sexual references to military hardware and tactics. Her examples included the description of a Harrier jet which had "an exceptional thrust to weight ratio" and "vectored thrust capability that makes the...unique rapid response possible." heh heh...they said "thrust." She also claimed that the acronyms for things like submarine-launched cruise missiles, SLCMs, sounded sexual (slick'em, get it?). Ironically, with her fixation on sexual acronyms and references to male genitalia she overlooked the title of one of the people she was studying: SAC commander. If I started snickering anytime someone said 'thrust' or 'missile' when talking about rocket propulsion, people would tell me to grow up, but apparently this essay was taken so seriously it made it into an anthology. 'Made it'(snicker).

I always wondered what the story was with the The Tootsie Pop Indian.

And lastly:
(explaining aikido)
Me: I'd say the best example of why it's important to relax is what happened to my Marine friend.
Feifei: Is he a dolphin or something?

amusing paraphrase and word of the day:
"Poland: the Christ of nations."-Adam Mickiewicz
polonize- to make or become Polish.
So does that mean that when Poland annexed Vilnius it became a polony? Or that in the Middle Ages their goal was polonialism?

To follow up on a previous post, I learned that "jordgubbe" the Swedish word for strawberry has an etymology that makes its literal translation far less disgusting. "Gubbe" used to mean any round, awkward/clumsy thing and was then later used to endearingly refer to an old man. So 'jordgubbe' is an awkward thing from the earth.

Skype. I can finally call home (or anyone at all, really) for an affordable rate. This and several other programs I've downloaded are what make the internet the best thing since the opposable thumb.

Sala (a likely, though unspecified, connection to Uppsala) was fun. An old mining town that provided most of Sweden's silver from the 1600's on. The mine itself was kind of unremarkable, just a massive dark hole in the ground, essentially. I suspect that the guide realized that and tried to impress upon us how incredibly long it took to make all the tunnels and shafts. Still, I was imagining something more visually stunning.
The town itself was gorgeous, the streets and parks were covered in yellow, orange and red leaves. Since it's been unseasonably dry, the leaves don't rot, they stay crisp and fluffy and we were kicking up the big piles on the sidewalks on our way to the mine. The crisp, cool weather combined with the giant trees covered with such brightly colored leaves made it feel like living in a Calvin and Hobbes Sunday comic. Now all I need is a wagon...

The European Union was discussed the other day in my Peoples of the Baltic class, specifically new members and the economic implications. When the idea that Turkey should be allowed to join the EU there was much opposition to the notion, bordering on revulsion. One of the minor reasons was that Turkey is considered part of the Middle East and not Europe. One of the other reasons was that Turks would be a bad influence if they were allowed free passage through Europe, claiming that neighborhoods go downhill whenever Turks move in. Clearly Europeans are not as civilized as they would have everyone believe. The guest speaker explained that Turkey entering the EU would be an economic strain on the other EU members as they would have to invest a large amount of money to bring Turkey to the same level as the rest of Europe. That was the same reason why he said that Russia would not be able to join the EU for a very, very long time; Russian membership would bankrupt the EU.
So, membership in an organization that promotes equal economic footing for all its members has to exclude nations that are substantially poorer. Also, a particularly rich country (Norway) would not want to join such a union if membership would actually reduce their economic strength.
This got me thinking about the economics of the Federation in Star Trek. Since the Federation is largely modeled after unions of nations on Earth, such as the UN and one would presume some of the EU, would the same rules still apply? In Insurrection, they say that they're giving Federation membership to a race that just became warp capable the year before. One must assume that they are nowhere near as economically powerful as, say, Earth. As large as the Federation is, modernizing an entire planet with technology centuries ahead its time and making it economically stable would be financially draining. Would that be where the Prime Directive comes in? Now not just as a rule designed to protect cultures from outside contamination but also relieving the Federation of the obligation to instantly modernize new members, as the EU protects itself from having to equalize economically weaker countries. Would they then create trade barriers with this new member planet to keep the more powerful nations from exploiting it? That doesn't seem like it would ahve happened in this case considering they say that the reason they want the planet to join is because they need all the help they can get to fight a war. Since the race isn't technologically advanced enough to provide military support, the only thing they could really offer are raw materials. So if they can't instantly modernize them and don't have the time to gradually modernize them, the only thing the Federation could do to make use of the planet is to colonize it. That would definitely contaminate their culture , not to mention that colonialism is something Earth supposedly eliminated centuries before. So unless there's another option provided by some alien economic system, this planet and its inhabitants really got screwed.
So, back in real life the EU can't accept Turkey without hurting itself in its obligation to equalize the member nations, it sure as hell can't colonize Turkey, so the only thing that can be done is try to help it improve its economy until it is strong enough to be an EU member. Given that Turkey is roughly the European equivalent of Mexico right now, that might take awhile. And who knows, maybe by that time there won't be as many bigots opposed to Turks in Europe.

Best Dialogue Ever:
Me: Do you know what a fundie is?
Feifei: No, tell me.
Me: Fundamentalist Christian.
Feifei: Ohhh. I thought it meant someone who isn't very intelligent.

Reading Swedish magazines is so much more educational than reading the textbooks, I swear. More interesting, too. I could learn about why Sweden has red houses (it comes from a mine and the color used to be a status symbol) or learn what "godis-bh:n" means (candy bra). Plus with my new vocabulary I can impress, or at least amuse, the locals.

Consensus is very important to the Swedes. If faced with something they don't necessarily agree with they'll simply say "I guess..." I suppose that's to be expected from a country that hasn't been at war since 1814, even when their empire was falling apart they peacefully worked out a solution. That's got to be some kind of record. While it definitely seems to show that the Swedes have a more evolved sensibility than, say, the US, at least when it comes to conflict resolution, they've gotten to the point where they regard any kind of disagreement as something terrible. I had a really minor political disagreement with someone a few weeks ago, just debating semantics really, and the next time I saw her she was kind of closed off. Eventually she asked if we could still be friends after we had an argument. Now, in the US if you stopped being someone's friend because you didn't see exactly eye to eye with their politics you'd lose a lot of friends really quickly. Perhaps Americans are better able to cope with disagreements and live with them rather than just acquiescing.

Surely there's some practical application for a robotic fish.

And if anyone out there uses Firefox, this will make it better. I've noticed that things load anywhere from a few seconds quicker to nigh instantly.

I find that the Swedes, and most of the Europeans really, are never impressed with how hot I tell them Arizona is. I would have expected them to be at least mildly surprised. The only explanations I can think of are they don't think I know the Celsius system and am just spouting out something that sounds right, 45C (113F) doesn't impress them (which I doubt considering they call 85F a heat wave) or they just can't fathom what that temperature actually feels like. They try to regale me with stories about how cold it will get. I'm impressed by sub-zero temperatures (more so in Fahrenheit but Celsius is noteworthy too) but then again cold is fairly exotic to me. Heat just seems more impressive, nothing emphasizes that more than when your breath feels chilly compared to the air.
The wildlife in Arizona, on the other hand, impresses them a great deal. There are potentially dangerous animals, but nothing here is poisonous. There are elk and reindeer way up north, about 100 wolves in the entire country and bears. Sure they're big and intimidating but they're furry and have four legs. And it's not like an elk is going to sneak up on you. I've told people horror stories about the frightening critters you can find in Tucson. Spiders and beetles the size of your hand, scorpions, centipedes (we found one once that was, I swear, a foot long), rattlesnakes, mountain lions with a taste for human flesh, javelinas, Gila monsters. I'm sure I left out something.
The plant life is also worlds apart, walking through the forest you can find all sorts of edible berries, pear trees and if you're into that kind of thing, edible mushrooms. And everything has leaves and bark. In Arizona, the only things that are edible you need to pick the thorns off of first, and everything coming out of the ground is covered in spines. The cactus are easy enough to avoid, except for the sadistic cholla.
One of my hallmates, after asking about nature in Tucson, said "You live in a dangerous place."
I suppose that's true, but it's amazing how quickly you get used to all the pointy plants and animals and all you really mind is the heat.

Oh, and while we're talking about scary things you can't find in Sweden, let's not forget the occasional abandoned nuclear missile silo you can find in the Arizona desert.

School of the Americas by Lesley Gill. Man did this book make me mad. She investigates this training facility for Latin American soldiers in the US and its involvement in human rights violations. The fact that they train soldiers with questionable backgrounds to be more effective soldiers is bad, the fact that the US topples democratic governments to ensure they won't turn communist is bad, but Gill isn't satisfied with this. She goes on to criticize the entire US government, not just the current administration or certain previous administrations but all of American government post WWII. She makes it seem as if communism was something that the US made up as an excuse to interfere in world affairs, forgetting that there actually was a USSR and communist Cuba. Now, how gratuitously anti-American is she? She's so gratuitously anti-American the people in my class from all over Europe thought her criticism of the US was over the top. They said they felt sorry for any American reading it. I found that very refreshing, I expected everyone to think that she was spot on describing the evil American Empire. She had so much to work with in the realm of righteous anger but she just had to accuse all of America of being sadistic Imperialists.

A couple of days ago when I was getting my hair cut the barber asked where I lived. I said Rackarberget (like you'd say it in English), she corrected me, it's "Rackar-berry-et". I've been mispronouncing it for over a month and not a single person has corrected me. Grrr...

Words of the day: mawkish-Excessively and objectionably sentimental. Sickening or insipid in taste.
ombudsman- A man who investigates complaints and mediates fair settlements, especially between aggrieved parties such as consumers or students and an institution or organization. (I'm ashamed to say that a Swede taught me a new English word)

Cultures different from ours: Cambodian society is incredibly hierarchical in nature and there is a great emphasis on acknowledging other's status in relation to you. For example, when sitting with someone of higher level than you, you must roll out a mat for them so they are seated higher than you. The hierarchy is not based on groups like a caste or social class, but rather on an individual level, depending on how much power one has. They believe that power comes from a divine but finite source; that means that the more power you have, the less power someone else has.
Equally astounding is how they do not make social networks among those of equal level to them, but try to make connections with those higher or lower than them. This is because in Cambodia those in power will use that power to further their own means and those of their associates. Our professor pointed out that in Western civilization that is the definition of a corrupt official, but that is simply the accepted order of things in Cambodian society. Also, while Western societies consider it the duty of the powerful to serve the will of the people, it is certainly not the case for Cambodians. The powerful do not need to answer to anybody and can do whatever they please, whenever they please. This is a sign that they have power, because if they can no longer get away with doing what they want, it means they have lost their power. It's the embodiment of Social Darwinism in society, a capitalist utopia of sorts. Given this cultural background, anything more socialized than a representative form of government (and they're still not totally used to that concept either) is doomed to fail.


The Swedish word for strawberry is the least appetizing word for it that I have ever heard: 'jordgubbe.' I had originally based that on just the sound of the word but the literal translation make it far worse. 'jord' means soil and 'gubbe' is an old man. So the word for strawberry means dirty old man. Covered in whipped cream. *shudder*

The Swedish word for 'hiss' is 'fräsa', which is pronounced like the Spanish word for strawberry. Depending on what language you speak, your cat could either be angrily calling you an elevator or a strawberry.

The other day my friend was at the gym and heard Gunther's "Tra la la" song, Nickelback and O-Zone's "Dragostea Din Tei" (better known to Americans as 'Numa Numa') on the radio, one right after the other. What was strange was that people actually listen to Gunther and O-Zone in Europe while they're only appreciated for their comedic value on the internet in the US. What was even stranger was that Nickelback was lumped in with them. At least they're not listening to Zlad, yet.

better without context: "I do most of my killing before breakfast."